Kim Kardashian – the princess is in the building! “A spider on you? No, there’s not!” – Kim laughed innocently. “Mom, oh my God! I’m such a drama queen, I need all of that attention. I’m not going if I’m not getting a suite, a $2,500 room, the best room they have. I don’t think it’s asking for too much to stay in a nice hotel and a suite. Thank goodness, I’m not asking for a private plane. It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to have a little fun. After all, I never get time off. I just need like 10 minutes to buy a few things for myself. It’s amazing!”
“I have to get this, I love this! How dope is it? Is it not the sickest thing you’ve ever seen in your life? I’ve got 12 boxes here for you! 12 boxes? What the hell do you have? Tim has that, that, that, and that. No one has to shop this much! I love this! She really knows how to shop!”
“Huh, I am an adult, I can do whatever I want. That’s what an alcoholic would say. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome to the ring, fighting tonight out of the Red Corner, Kim Kardashian!”
“This girl is pounding on me and I’m starting to get angry. Reggie and I have been together a little over a year and a half. We’re in a strong, committed relationship. He lives in New Orleans and I live in LA. We used to see each other a lot more, but because of my schedule, it’s gotten a little tough to see each other and spend that quality time. But I guess that’s the price you have to pay, work comes first. It doesn’t matter, just book it and I’ll talk to Reggie, okay? I just want to make sure you’re okay. I feel really bad, but there’s no way I can go. I’m so busy and I just hope he understands.”
“I miss you, you are so cute! See that face, that’s the smile I know, one love! We need to FaceTime. Just kidding. Um, babe, you know your brother’s birthday party? Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to be able to come. I have this photo shoot and it’s for this magazine and it’s a cover and it’s a really big deal and I just I really have to do it. When you’ve been together with someone for years and then you take some time off, it’s really hard. It’s just a really tough time for me right now. What scares me is you’re putting all your happiness in your life on one person.”
“I don’t need a relationship to define who I am. I know no matter what, I’ll be okay. I’m a strong woman. So much is going on, my life is so crazy busy. I’m doing everything from great photo shoots for magazines, another calendar, to my shoe company with Robert Shapiro – Shoe Dazzle. This is work, I’m not going to turn it down.”
“I literally just want like 10 minutes to lay down. Seriously, how exhausting. Imagine if we fell asleep and missed your entire birthday party. Oh my God, that would be… how funny would that be? Awful. I’ll wake you up in 4 minutes and 20 seconds.”
“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m feeling really dirty tonight, so I think it’s time we take a bath. I’m so excited to finally be doing it. It’s also surreal. Kim, I want you to know, I Googled Kim’s ass and it says, ‘Tragedy struck Kim Kardashian last night on a private plane from New Jersey to Las Vegas. Her left butt cheek exploded.’ They could make up a completely fake story. This is the same website that says Kim burned a raccoon. I can’t even take this seriously. I’ve said numerous times, like, I haven’t had plastic surgery, I haven’t had butt implants. I mean, people just want to write whatever they want to write. Oh, butt implants before and after plastic surgery. Oh my God, let’s see this. What’s so funny is this picture was after this picture. First of all, who the hell of a normal person gets butt implants? I mean, if you want to prove from wrong, get like an x-ray and like an x-ray of your ass to show there’s no silicone in there. Chloe, I think that’s an amazing idea. Honestly, like, you’re so annoying. Anyone should understand. It’s like, you guys, like, why do you… why are you… stop! Do a little squish test. Okay, feel that. Feel with silicone. Yeah, baby, I like it jiggly, but I feel like this is like… ow. I just, I like… if I were to literally have a fake ass, wouldn’t it be like… I don’t think you could control. I mean, I definitely think it’s a stupid idea to get an x-ray, but it would definitely stop the rumors and it would also be a lot of fun for me to see Kim going to ask the doctor for a butt x-ray. I’m starving. I bet your booty is too.”
“Hi, hi! How are you? You look so cute. My T is a good friend of mine, we’ve known each other since I was like 19 years old. And T suggested that maybe she teach me a few belly dancing moves. You have to like really pretend like this is like belly dancing for dummies, like as if I do not know one thing. I mean, this one-on-one private, I think will go a lot better than my group class. T has her work cut out for her. I’m not the easiest to teach. I’m going to show you some basic stuff. So when you see that, you have to dance or do something. It’s like, I have my go-to things to do. Okay, I mean, you… you have the curves forward. Belly dancing is about, you know, you work with what you got. So it’s all there. You can do it. Okay, all right. Kind of exaggerate it. Like if you’re want to pop your bra open, like you’re… yeah, you’re popping your chest out. Inhaling and exhaling. Up and down, up and down. It’s not natural for me, you know? You gotta think of it as a workout. Plant yourself, pop. Step, step again. Plant your foot. Pop. I feel like T is showing me moves that kind of fit my personality, whereas like other dance classes do these like crazy hip-hop moves that I would never do in a million years. Kick, hip Circle. I mean, I… the way… could never do this if you weren’t here. Down, running in place, arms up, feet. Feel sexy now. You’re
