In an unexpected turn of events, actress and activist Alyssa Milano recently took to Instagram Live to announce, in a tearful session, that she holds none other than Elon Musk responsible for every misfortune she has faced in her life. Yes, you read that correctly – every single thing.

The saga began innocently enough in Los Angeles, where Milano found herself at a vegan coffee shop, engrossed in a screenplay on her sustainable bamboo tablet. A mix-up led to Milano offering a coffee to a stranger, who turned out to be none other than the renowned entrepreneur behind SpaceX and Tesla, Elon Musk. Milano, unaware of his identity at the time, casually returned the coffee with a nonchalant remark about its soy-free, almond milk contents.

Elon, displaying his trademark courtesy, acknowledged her gesture with a nod and continued about his day. However, Milano now claims that this seemingly inconsequential encounter initiated a series of events that have brought turmoil to her life and career.

Milano speculated that this encounter may have triggered a curse of sorts. The following day, her Keurig coffee machine malfunctioned, causing a messy explosion in her kitchen. Milano lamented the traumatic experience to her followers, attributing the Keurig’s malfunction to the mysterious chain of events, with Elon Musk somehow being involved – whether directly or indirectly.

Adding to the intrigue, Milano disclosed her prior consideration of purchasing a Tesla, even scheduling a test drive. However, the car never arrived, prompting Milano to question whether Musk had intervened to prevent her from experiencing his electric vehicles firsthand.

But the most sensational revelation came when Milano claimed she was convinced she would be the first celebrity sent to space by Musk’s SpaceX. She had meticulously planned outfits and even composed a song for the occasion. However, her dreams were shattered when she received not an invitation to space, but instead, a car. A bewildered Milano shared her disappointment with her audience, further cementing her belief in Musk’s alleged interference in her life.

Milano also pointed fingers at Musk for her recent tardiness to a yoga class, attributing it to the traffic caused by Musk’s Boring Company tunnel projects. She speculated about Musk’s potential underground endeavors, suggesting he might be orchestrating a clandestine control over the city’s traffic flow.

In an even more outlandish claim, Milano asserted that Musk’s tweets were responsible for her cat’s peculiar behavior. According to her, every time Musk tweets, her cat, Mr. Whiskers, becomes agitated, implying a bizarre connection between Musk’s social media activity and her pet’s reactions.

While Milano’s accusations against Elon Musk border on the absurd, they serve as a reminder of the surreal nature of contemporary news cycles. Despite the eyebrow-raising nature of her claims, Musk has chosen to remain conspicuously silent, leaving room for speculation about his involvement or lack thereof in Milano’s purported misfortunes.